Hi Kat, I really enjoyed reading your piece. It made me think about the lines of communication between different generations. My mom is hella traditional and we get lost in communication. She has her own ideas of the world. As I have mine. I have to remind myself that love and care is at the basis of our relationship even if it's shown in a a different way. I love your line about moving at a glacier pace because any change is some type of movement.
Totally, William. There are so many differences/chasms between us and our parents (especially immigrant parents). You're making me wonder whether not seeing eye to eye with our parents is actually mutually beneficial. Although painful at times.
That is an interesting point you bring up. I tried so hard to put up boundaries with my mom. But the older she got, I realized the harder it is for her to change her demeanor. So I said fuck it because it just got too one sided. I tell myself that I have the capacity to change or process what's going on so maybe that it's better if it was like that. But I agree with you. It is painful.
Gosh thank you for telling me this. I occasionally wonder if I ought to change the title. But it's a deep-seated, true longing re: my dad so it stays. I guess this makes you and me the Daughters of Complex Contractors? 😂
I also enjoyed the care card idea. As someone who writes in 20 disjointed metaphors I can really appreciate your consistent metaphorical language that adds so much depth through "the substrate of my heart and mind."
This is heartfelt and lovely. I can so relate to this, "trying to help him and my mom to understand bills, legal policies, and opaque social interactions." But now I realize, after living in SE Asia for 15 years, how frustrated and embarrassed my mom must have been to ask her child to read letters and ask for help.
Happy to meet you, Lani. Thank you for your insight and being willing to share some of the flip side to your courageous life. Our mothers had to transcend and harbor so much. Glad to be on this journey of realization with you 🤍
I wish I had this foresight with my dad. You're doing beautifully, curating your dad's person care card. Now I'm inspired to do the same for those who I still can. It won't always be easy, and there may be many pushes needed, but it's worth it! ❤️
Lovely to connect, Rachel! What you said fills me with such joy, you have no idea. You’ve got this! If you’re willing, would love to hear what you realize in the process 🪴💌
Hi Kat, I really enjoyed reading your piece. It made me think about the lines of communication between different generations. My mom is hella traditional and we get lost in communication. She has her own ideas of the world. As I have mine. I have to remind myself that love and care is at the basis of our relationship even if it's shown in a a different way. I love your line about moving at a glacier pace because any change is some type of movement.
Totally, William. There are so many differences/chasms between us and our parents (especially immigrant parents). You're making me wonder whether not seeing eye to eye with our parents is actually mutually beneficial. Although painful at times.
That is an interesting point you bring up. I tried so hard to put up boundaries with my mom. But the older she got, I realized the harder it is for her to change her demeanor. So I said fuck it because it just got too one sided. I tell myself that I have the capacity to change or process what's going on so maybe that it's better if it was like that. But I agree with you. It is painful.
Kat this is beautiful. Just seeing the title, my heart swelled a little.
My dad was a building contractor, and also a complex individual. "I wish you came with instructions" just hit home before I even started reading.
Gosh thank you for telling me this. I occasionally wonder if I ought to change the title. But it's a deep-seated, true longing re: my dad so it stays. I guess this makes you and me the Daughters of Complex Contractors? 😂
My new byline hahaha!
No I LOVE the title!
I also enjoyed the care card idea. As someone who writes in 20 disjointed metaphors I can really appreciate your consistent metaphorical language that adds so much depth through "the substrate of my heart and mind."
Hi Matthew! Thanks so much for the kind words 🙂 And I join you in mixing metaphors
This is heartfelt and lovely. I can so relate to this, "trying to help him and my mom to understand bills, legal policies, and opaque social interactions." But now I realize, after living in SE Asia for 15 years, how frustrated and embarrassed my mom must have been to ask her child to read letters and ask for help.
Happy to meet you, Lani. Thank you for your insight and being willing to share some of the flip side to your courageous life. Our mothers had to transcend and harbor so much. Glad to be on this journey of realization with you 🤍
I wish I had this foresight with my dad. You're doing beautifully, curating your dad's person care card. Now I'm inspired to do the same for those who I still can. It won't always be easy, and there may be many pushes needed, but it's worth it! ❤️
Lovely to connect, Rachel! What you said fills me with such joy, you have no idea. You’ve got this! If you’re willing, would love to hear what you realize in the process 🪴💌
I will try to report back. For now thinking of starting with my mum already illicit a pulling back respond. I guess I may have to push harder 😅
Kat, this was beautiful and bittersweet. I relate so much.
Hello Heidi! Thank you for your time and kind words. Hope you’re well in Oz.
What a beautiful piece, Kat. I love the idea of Care Cards for people! ❤️
Heather, hello! Thank you so much for the kind words. Please let me know if you write yours up, would love to hear about it 🙂
This hit in so many places I had to read very slowly. Thank you for writing, Kat.
Thank you for reading, Jonny. FYI our recent conversation is still having ripple-out effects for me!
Ooh, let’s do it again soon
This was a bittersweet read 🩵
Hi Emily! Thanks for reading, it means a lot.