As I clean up my mom’s house, two years after her dementia and stroke, finally became too much to handle, this piece resonates with me in so many different ways.
Such a beautiful description of something so hard to explain.
The visceral descriptions of holding and trapping emotion is gorgeous – “After my grandfather died, her devotion to him pooled inside with nowhere to go.” That part came with feelings.
Goodness. YES. The disconnect, the “life goes on”. It’s quite cruel, isn’t it?
If you’re very lucky here in the states, your workplace gives you 9 days bereavement. Who the fuck’s job was it to calculate sufficient grieving time, bc they got it very wrong.
Kat, this was beautiful. You have a way with words that gets to the emotion better than most I've seen here. I feel like I should learn from you. It was honestly relieving to see you wrestle with the possibility of your getting dementia and how you turned the whole thing on its head. Obviously, I had never considered that. Dementia remains my greatest fear; I have thought about this a lot over the years. But your accepting and letting it go was inspiring.
Anuradha ♥️ Trying to really receive your kind words, thank you. You are living your life courageously and out loud. I like to think that’s nicely preventative for us!
I am glad how this piece came about. You showed us a door to your past memory, and it feels very universal. It made me remember mi abuelita, my grandma. And although there is a tendency to remember that last challenging part of their life, I think the invitation is there to cherish all the memories we have with those that shaped us and gave us the care that nurtured our hearts.
I am obsessed with the way you have pieced and polished this piece. You have a beautiful and unique way with words, and I loved the little touches of the Asian immigrant experience throughout the piece.
I deeply resonated with the nudge to focus on what over why in finding a purpose. I will carry this piece with me for a long time
“Like you, I’m a tiny branch growing off of a giant sequoia of people. Their joy and sorrow has shaped me in ways known and mysterious. It’s too easy to forget I’m part of a great, unstoppable unfolding.”
What a testament to those before us. Those that fought battles (some literal) and struggled so we can have a better way. And it is your recognition of this privilege and our responsibility to living a good life in honor of them that inspires me.
Fantastic story, Kat. Similar thing happened with my grandmother a few years ago. It all happens very fast — and we are all standing on the shoulders of others just as you say. Thanks for sharing.
As I clean up my mom’s house, two years after her dementia and stroke, finally became too much to handle, this piece resonates with me in so many different ways.
Gordon, I'm deeply sorry and right there with you. What a befuddling, heart-shredding way to grieve a loved one. Thank you for sharing.
Such a beautiful description of something so hard to explain.
The visceral descriptions of holding and trapping emotion is gorgeous – “After my grandfather died, her devotion to him pooled inside with nowhere to go.” That part came with feelings.
Ahh thank you so much Claire. Means a lot. One of the best definitions of grief I've heard: "Love that has nowhere to go"
Grief is my favourite topic for emotion, particularly that battle between what we feel inside and how the outside world handles it.
Goodness. YES. The disconnect, the “life goes on”. It’s quite cruel, isn’t it?
If you’re very lucky here in the states, your workplace gives you 9 days bereavement. Who the fuck’s job was it to calculate sufficient grieving time, bc they got it very wrong.
Oh the disconnect is fuuuucked. And then there’s the different stages of someone is still alive. Web of grief could be title for a piece on that one.
Oh that’s insanely lucky in my US experience – maybe Cali laws? Most give 3 days top. And not much better in the Uk 🫠
I'm so excited to talk to you more about grief lol cry
You read Grief is the thing with feathers? My favourite book of all time
Kat, this was beautiful. You have a way with words that gets to the emotion better than most I've seen here. I feel like I should learn from you. It was honestly relieving to see you wrestle with the possibility of your getting dementia and how you turned the whole thing on its head. Obviously, I had never considered that. Dementia remains my greatest fear; I have thought about this a lot over the years. But your accepting and letting it go was inspiring.
Anuradha ♥️ Trying to really receive your kind words, thank you. You are living your life courageously and out loud. I like to think that’s nicely preventative for us!
Love how this one has evolved! Such important reflections. Excited to see the final version of Part 2, too.
Couldn't have done it without your amazing edits and feedback, Emily. Thank you!
I am glad how this piece came about. You showed us a door to your past memory, and it feels very universal. It made me remember mi abuelita, my grandma. And although there is a tendency to remember that last challenging part of their life, I think the invitation is there to cherish all the memories we have with those that shaped us and gave us the care that nurtured our hearts.
Hi Hugo! I feel grateful you fully received that. It's been the bright spot in this long goodbye.
I am obsessed with the way you have pieced and polished this piece. You have a beautiful and unique way with words, and I loved the little touches of the Asian immigrant experience throughout the piece.
I deeply resonated with the nudge to focus on what over why in finding a purpose. I will carry this piece with me for a long time
Sondra! Many thanks to your clear, honest, supportive feedback. Can’t wait to read how your love letter turned out
“Like you, I’m a tiny branch growing off of a giant sequoia of people. Their joy and sorrow has shaped me in ways known and mysterious. It’s too easy to forget I’m part of a great, unstoppable unfolding.”
What a testament to those before us. Those that fought battles (some literal) and struggled so we can have a better way. And it is your recognition of this privilege and our responsibility to living a good life in honor of them that inspires me.
Ahh that touches me so much. They're rooting for us to do our thing, aren't they? Grateful I get to bear witness to your process.
Fantastic story, Kat. Similar thing happened with my grandmother a few years ago. It all happens very fast — and we are all standing on the shoulders of others just as you say. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for reading, Foy 🙏🏼